somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
