And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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