You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Dear god my vagina.
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