Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
