now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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