R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my phone needs a breathalizer
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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