Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
