Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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