So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
