She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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