So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
