i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
