i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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