You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
