So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
