guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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