yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
