I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Dick very happy bro
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
