Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
tell me about the eggs
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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