508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
