sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize