i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
