Christians are straight up FREAKS
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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