dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
