It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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