Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
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