Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
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The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
