YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just high enough for therapy.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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