i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
