I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
