I showed him my bush... on skype.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
