You're so nebulous sometimes
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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