Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
