Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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