he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I AM VODKA MAN
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
