im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
