are you still at the devil's house?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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