Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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