Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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