Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize