I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
