My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
