Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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