I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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