I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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