I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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