he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
