Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
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We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
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my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
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I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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