why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
