i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you will always have a special place in my vag
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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