Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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