I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
