before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
