i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
