That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
