I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
