Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Dear god my vagina.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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