If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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