My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
