...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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