i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
