Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize