anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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