i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Pooping to opera.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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