when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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